10 Things that People who are Madly in Love Do Differently

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It was a rainy Sunday morning. One of my friends, Sarah, excitedly called me up to tell me that she was just engaged to the guy she had always wanted to marry, Allan. My reaction was similar to the dull weather outside.

I was convinced that she had rushed into a trap and too blindly in love to recognize it. We were just 19. She had dated a guy for just seven months. I had plenty of motives to convince her to reconsider her mind.

She assured me that she fell in love with Allan’s soul before she could even touch his skin. She said that to her, love is made up of one soul inhabiting two bodies, and that is the connection she felt with him. All my clever advice that I countered with fell on deaf ears.

Fast forward to today 11 years later, Sarah and Allan are still as madly in love as they were on the morning of their engagement. They share certain traits with other people who are madly in love.

Studies led by Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University and one of the leading experts on the biological basis of love, have revealed that the brain’s “in love” phase is a unique and well-defined period of time.

Being madly in love with your partner, like success, is not a reserve for a select few people. It really comes down to your habits as a couple.

According to the study, love is clearly not ‘just’ an emotion; it is a biological process that is both dynamic and bidirectional in several dimensions. As such, it can be influenced by human behaviour and habits

The book Rich Habits details the daily success habits of wealthy people. When I realized how simple these habits are, it struck me why few people are wealthy — it is human to forget the beauty of prolonged repetition.

Similarly, when it comes to love, the habits that you repeatedly exercise in your relationship contribute greatly to the success or demise of your relationship.

I draw inspiration from people who are madly in love with each other. Here are 10 things they do differently:

1. They Let Their Love And Trust Lead Their Relationship

“Trust is the fruit of a relationship in which you know you are loved.” — William Paul Young

We all have fears in our lives and our relationships. People who are madly in love let their love and trust overpower their fear and lead their relationship.

They know that you never lose by loving and trusting your partner; you lose by holding back.

No relationship is impossible until you refuse to give it a chance.

Loving and trusting means giving your partner the chance to hurt you, but trusting that they will not. Specifically speaking, as Andrea Brundo

brilliantly pointed out, they will not willingly hurt you.

Without this trust, a relationship cannot survive or thrive.

People who are madly in love believe in the good faith of their partners. They know that if they want their partner to trust them, then they must feel that they can be trusted, too.

You should let love and trust lead your relationship.

2. They Forgive Each Other Completely

“Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself.” — Suzanne Somers

One of the hardest things to do in any kind of relationship is letting go of old wounds through forgiveness.

This research study published in the US National Library of Medicine — National Institutes of Health established that ‘love heals’ has some truth to it.

People who are madly in love forgive each other completely when one of them is in the wrong.
They realize that every moment of our lives, we are either growing or dying — and when we are physically healthy, it is a choice.

The art of maintaining happiness in life and relationships relies on the fine balancing act of holding on and letting go.

People who are madly in love know that being hurt is something you can’t avoid, but being continuously miserable is always a choice. Forgiveness is the remedy.

You have to let go of what’s behind you before you can grasp the goodness in front of you.

3. They Communicate Effectively

“Communication is the fuel that keeps the fire of your relationship burning. Without it, your relationship goes cold.” — William Paisley

Sarah and Allan swear by communication as the cornerstone of their wonderful relationship.

This is something I struggle with in my relationship, especially when I am angry or hurt. I forget to use my words and I hope that my partner will deduce my displeasure from my cold shoulder and haughty glances.

This is not right. And I am working on it.

People who are madly in love with each other do not shut their partner out. They clearly communicate their needs.

There are various modes of communication and people who are madly in love make effort to make effective communication a constant in their relationships.

They understand that by keeping their communication clear, and loving their partner in the ways they feel loved — they are well on their way to keep falling in love with each other until the end of time.

You need to learn how to communicate your needs with your partner, and how to listen and understand their needs, too.

4. They Do Things For Self-Happiness

“Life is about creating your own happiness, and before you know it, blessings of love will find their way into your heart.” — Brigitte Nicole

People who are madly in love know that to awaken happiness in a relationship, they should start by living a life that makes them happy at an individual level, and then they radiate that happiness into the relationship.

They know that to eliminate suffering in a relationship, couples start by eliminating the dark and negative parts of themselves and then radiate their positivity into the relationship.

Truly, the greatest power anybody has in this world is the power of their own self-transformation.All the positive change you seek in any relationship starts with the one in the mirror.

5. They Are Kind To Each Other

“No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.” — Aesop

People who are madly in love show their loved ones kindness in small ways every day.

In these kinds of relationships, both partners strive to always be kinder than necessary.

This is a good rule of thumb because generally speaking, you never know what someone is going through. Sometimes you have to be kind to someone, not because they’re being nice, but because you are.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love. You can give of yourself through your relationship. You can spread sunshine in your partner’s and other people’s lives regardless of the weather.

6. They Own Up To Their Mistakes

“It is not how we make mistakes, but how we correct them that defines us.” — Anonymous

Making mistakes or failing at tasks is a common occurrence in human life according to this paper published in the Online Library of Science.

People who are madly in love know that an honest heart is the beginning of everything that is right with this world.

The most honourable people are not those who never make mistakes, but those who admit to them when they do, and then go on and do their best to right the wrongs they have made.

In the end, being honest might not always win you a lot of friends and lovers, but it will always keep the right ones in your life.

7. They listen to listen, not to respond

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.” — Stephen R. Covey

It takes courage to open one’s mind and listen.

People who are madly in love pay attention when their partner speaks, and they are good listener for their partner.

Like Paul Tillich said, “The first duty of love is to listen.”

People who are madly in love with each other will be interested in spending time listening to each other’s problems; and continue to choose their partner as a priority.

Your ears will never get you in trouble. The people in your life often need a listening ear more than they need a rambling voice.

And don’t listen with the intent to reply; hear what is being said with the intent to understand. You are as beautiful as the love you give, and you are as wise as the silence you leave behind.

8. They Accept Each Other

“To be fully seen by somebody, then, and be loved anyhow — this is a human offering that can border on miraculous.Unconditional acceptance is something we want, but rarely ever give out.

People who are madly in love with each other do not force their expectations on their partner, instead, they choose to accept them for exactly who they are.

Who your partner is isn’t what they say or what you have come to expect, it is who they reveal themselves to be. Either you accept them as they are, or you move on without them.

9. They Know Their Worth

“Your self-worth is determined by you. You do not have to depend on someone to tell you who you are.” — Beyonce Knowles

People who are madly in love have come to a place where they value themselves on an individual basis outside the relationship. They know their worth.

Know your worth!

When you give your time to someone who doesn’t respect you, you surrender pieces of your heart you will never get back.

All failed relationships hurt but losing someone who doesn’t appreciate and respect you is actually a gain, not a loss. Some people come into your life temporarily simply to teach you something.

They come and they go and they make a difference.

Know your worth, and then add tax. This will give you a chance to know when not to settle for a relationship you should be running from.

10. They Believe That The Universe Is Working For Them

According to the research study, love pervades every aspect of our lives and has inspired countless works of art. Love also has a profound effect on our mental and physical state.

A ‘broken heart’ or a failed relationship can have disastrous effects; bereavement disrupts human physiology and might even precipitate death. Without loving relationships, humans fail to flourish, even if all of their other basic needs are met.

Social interactions between individuals, for example, trigger cognitive and physiological processes that influence emotional and mental states. In turn, these changes influence future social interactions.

Similarly, the maintenance of loving relationships requires constant feedback through sensory and cognitive systems; the body seeks love and responds constantly to interaction with loved ones or to the absence of such interaction.

People who are madly in love believe the biology works in their favor.

Always remember that the Universe loves you!

“Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire. The Universe turns differently when fire loves water.” — Shams Tabrizi

Remember, even the healthiest relationships have some flaws. Being too black and white about the quality and health of a relationship spells trouble. Accept the fact that there will always be some difficulties present, but you can still focus on the good.

Instead of constantly looking for signs of what’s not working in your relationship, what you need to do is look for signs of what is, and then use this as a solid foundation to build upon until yours is one of the relationships people are inspired to write about.

Deep love is more than physical touch. It is being touched on every level, every cell of your body, every oxygen molecule in your breathing, every firing neuron in your brain. We want to be touched by life until we are bursting, and to share that uncontainable joy with others. — Oshana Dave

And now your thoughts…

Which of these relationship habits do you sometimes struggle with? What else would you add to the list? Please leave me a comment below and share your thoughts.

I wish you loads of love and happiness in your relationships.

About the author

Surjo Das

Surjo Das is a Digital Media Publisher and freelance copywriter. He has been working in the publishing industry for over 5 years now, holding various positions at different publishing houses Worldwide. His work experience includes managing marketing campaigns, content development, and website maintenance for various industries including healthcare, IT, finance, and education. He also offers to ghostwrite services to help aspiring authors get their books published while maintaining creative control over the project.

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By Surjo Das

Surjo Das

Surjo Das is a Digital Media Publisher and freelance copywriter. He has been working in the publishing industry for over 5 years now, holding various positions at different publishing houses Worldwide. His work experience includes managing marketing campaigns, content development, and website maintenance for various industries including healthcare, IT, finance, and education. He also offers to ghostwrite services to help aspiring authors get their books published while maintaining creative control over the project.

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